So this morning after the alarm went off at 7:30 I spent an incredibly productive hour and a half lying in bed in that state between sleeping and waking letting my dissertation ideas churn in my head for awhile before I got up to get back to the reading.
All this is a strong counterpoint to my life with my readings before said breakthrough.
The point of all of this is that I've been realizing lately how much I both love and hate the creative process. I sometimes think if it and I were ever thrown on the Jerry Springer show together, it would make for some dramatic television.
- How much my emotions are affected during that time before breakthroughs when I believe it will never come together again
- How little control I have about when those breakthroughs come, even if one subscribes to the "keep working at it until the inspiration shows up" philosophy
- The part after the breakthroughs come and everything starts to come together
- How mysterious the process is and that feeling that the creative breakthroughs are a gift, even if I'm involved in them
- Be more confident during the pre-breakthrough times of chaos and self-doubt
- Learn to balance the "keep working at it until the inspiration shows up" philosophy with appreciating the mystery and learning when to let a project rest for a time